THE GIFT OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

I have a friend who recently and abruptly cut off all communication with me. We had been close friends since college. We haven't always seen eye to eye, she and I have always had very different ways of perceiving the world, but we valued our friendship. And because of that were committed to navigating through different perceptions and misunderstandings. 

At least that's what I had thought. In retrospect, I realize that I had never fully put that belief to the test. You see, I had not always been completely honest with her about how her communication style affected me - and I was afraid that if I disagreed with her, she might not want to be my friend.

But just as a caterpillar is destined to evolve into a butterfly, I could not stop the shift that was taking place within me. Anais Nin wrote, "...and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." It is indeed true that the day came when I knew I could no longer hold myself back from sharing my thoughts and feelings - even if it meant that she (and others in our circle that I love dearly) would either fall away, or go running as fast as they could, away from me. But the honest expression of my feelings had become a non-negotiable step in accessing my true self and authentic voice.

In a perfect world, friends are able to disagree without feeling estranged and annihilated by one another. We are able to give and receive critical feedback while still loving and feeling loved by one another. But as we are "perfectly imperfect", this lofty ideal can often be outrageously challenging to put into practice. When I allow others the space to share with me those places where I am falling short in their eyes, where I am not living up to their expectations, it is a real ego-buster - it is outrageously painful. It takes every strength I've got to sit there, calm and receptive, in the searing inferno of those reflections. And yet, while it has been the hardest test of friendship to receive such "constructive criticisms", I have come to see that it is through these reflections from my community that I am able to see more of my own blind spots and grow exponentially into the person I aspire to be. Friendship in its highest expression strives to be unconditional; to love, to listen, and to receive each others' personal truth - even when it does not match our own. (This ideal runs counter to our societal programming which teaches us that we will only be received and accepted if we behave within certain sets of conditions.) It is the greatest gift we can give to our beloveds: to hold a mirror and reflect back love; to see their highest even when it feels beyond our capacity to do so. If we can stand in the fire of not being seen and understood, and still feel love for ourselves and our friend, we begin to see the highest in ourselves and the world around us.

Another dear friend of mine called me on my birthday. As we tuned in with each other, I asked her about her life. She shared about how a friend is always angry with her, and she questioned as to whether or not she should end the relationship. I asked her, "are you able to remain neutral and stay in your heart when this person confronts you?" She laughed and said, "not always." "If not," I responded, "then this friendship is giving you the opportunity to hone your Jedi training." What better opportunity do we have to strengthen our capacity to LOVE, than those instances when we are confronted by what appears to be the opposite?

My heart aches and strives to become a person who is able to be unconditional love and compassion for those around me -- whether or not I agree with their behavior, or what they are saying to me, or about me. If I can do that, then I can truly begin to call myself a "Peace Maker." Until then, I have to thank my friends for giving me lots of opportunities to practice my peace-making skills. And while those moments can seem almost impossible to face, I am humbled when I reflect on how my own opportunities to practice unconditional love pale in comparison to what so many humans have had to face in their lifetime. I just read an <a title="article about a woman" href="http://www.npr.org/2011/05/20/136463363/forgiving-her-sons-killer-not-an-easy-thinghttp://">article about a woman</a> who not only forgave her child's murderer, but has unofficially adopted him, living next door, after his release from prison. She is a unique and laudable example of a true "Peace Maker" who demonstrates the highest ideal of humanity's capacity to love unconditionally.

As for my friend who cut me out of her life, I still dream of her on an almost nightly basis. Most nights are the same. I reach towards her in love, cautiously at first, waiting till I feel an openness. Then it happens, our hearts soften, and a divine energy surrounds us, as we remember how much we love one another. An air of forgiveness rushes in and our vibration lifts. The world fills with light as we do. Upon awakening, I recognize that while our relationship is estranged in the physical world, I am working in my inner realm to love her no matter what, even as that love is not reciprocated. And in loving her unconditionally, I find that I am learning to love myself more.

Meditation Is Making Love with Your Own Soul

My crown is tingling.  My heart is bursting with love.  My feet are vibrating, aching to walk on the fabric of the earth, to share this love that has overtaken me.  The sun is caressing my third eye.  My breathing is slow, connected and full.  I am grateful to be alive and in form.

Lord Shiva having himself a nice morning meditation

I have just spent 25 minutes meditating and chanting.  The world looks and feels completely different than it did before my meditation.

Except for the rare occasion when I awaken from a lucid dream (what I call a “God dream”), I don’t usually awaken with gratitude.  I usually find myself feeling more a sense of uneasiness as I begin thinking about all the things “I should do” today.  I seem to land in the collective mainstream of consciousness where I feel pulled to do, rather than to be.  Thank LOVE I have the awareness that I am not the anxiousness that I feel in these moments.  I know this because I have experienced the shift in my state of consciousness immediately after I meditate.   Before my meditation this morning I was perceiving reality through the lens of my personality/ego.   Now I am perceiving through heart-centered awareness.  I am here in this moment – and it feels wonderful!

Do you intend to keep a meditation practice, but find yourself avoiding it? As long as you see meditation and mantra practice as a “should”, your personality will find a multitude of ways to avoid it.  Instead, long for it deeply, with passion. Long for it as you would long to merge with your beloved.  You don’t have challenges finding the desire to hold, kiss and cocoon with your beloved, do you?  Probably not.  And yet, all the love and desire you have for your lover is you.  It is your love.  It is your own personal powerhouse of energy, radiating from the core of your soul.  There is nothing more intoxicating and nourishing than to open yourself and receive this love from your own soul.  When you begin to choose and move from this knowing, sitting down to meditate will shape-shift from a mental discipline into an ecstatic re-union of your internal lover and its be-loved.

Yes – meditation is making love with your own soul.

Lama Humour

Yes, of course the Dalai Lama gets on here. My favourite image is of the Dalai Lama chortling away at some private joke. He epitomizes smiling truth. Don't teach with dry dogma, laugh your way to nirvana. And you don't have to be a Buddhist to chuckle (see atheism or Judaism). Haha Yoga is alive and doing well. Life isn't all smiles, and even lamas are human. It is so easy to drift away from laughter. But lighten up people - laugh at yourself more often and give away smiles to strangers on the street. Some humour can be earthy. Some can be sublime. All is good. But dry wit is priceless.

A man in a movie theatre notices what looks like a llama sitting next to him. "Are you a llama?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The llama replied, "Well, I liked the book." 

Sentinels of the Forest

Trees eat fish to provide oxygen to every lung on this planet. During the fall, salmon rush upstream in huge numbers. Bears love this fish buffet - they swat a handful out of mountain streams, carry them up into the forest, and gorge themselves on the tasty fish heads, scattering headless salmon all over the forest floor. Over time, the decaying salmon seep into the soil, enriching, giving the tree roots new energy for branching out into the sky, sending transmuted fish souls into swirling mists.

As guardians of the wilds, these ancient sentinels stand rooted in the earth yet reach for the heavens. They are conduits between air and earth. 

Cultural Perspectives
 

Basil Brave Heart, a Lakota Medicine Man, has been noted as revering trees as examples of strength that comes not just from what is seen, but most importantly from what is unseen. Saying that the roots are what supports and feeds the tree, and sometimes those are tiny roots supporting a huge tree! Through this example he gives us a wonderful metaphor for how quick we are to believe what we see in front of us to be the strongest, or the most important. However, without that supporting structure, the tree would not have grown into this magnificent structure. Its very life force depends upon the humbleness of its roots. 


Over and over again trees are found to be in the center of very sacred practices. I think of the Yew Trees that line the paths of Glastonbury's Chalice Well; the trees of Costa Rica where they have ancient beliefs of burying their dead between high roots of the trees base will help lift the spirit to heaven; the oak trees for druid festivals; the cottonwood trees for the Lakota Sundance ceremony; the Christmas tree to help remind us of the reason for the season in Christian belief. Yet caution should be exercised in discerning between worship of a tree and the tree being a symbol within a ritual.

The Lakota have the Sundance Ceremony that is very powerful, very sacred and in the center stage is the tall cottonwood tree. The tree there is forked to represent a man with his arms stretched up to heaven. Called the standing ones, trees are very sacred to native Lakota so the one who offers its life to be part if the most scared if ceremonies is especially revered, which is quite different than worshiping the tree itself. To know that the tree is a living being and it gave its life to be part of the ceremony is very humbling and as such the tree is honored, but it is not a 'tree worship' ceremony. The tree cutting at that time is a ceremony in itself and is very humbling.

What do trees say to you?

Think back about a particular tree that called to you. This does not make you strange or meant to label you as weird or different. Even people who do not consider themselves as being particularly spiritual will recall a particular tree that made them stop even for a moment to admire its shape and form for a while. 

Without trees the world would be a very different place, not just on a scientific level, but on a spiritual level as well. They provide shelter, food, protection, oxygen and provide an essential resource to our very planet. Lovers have met beneath romantic moss draped branches and the lonely have felt their support against their backs and many a poet, philosopher and physicist have been inspired by them.

My personal favorite book about a tree that represents unconditional love is "the Giving Tree"

“Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."
And the boy did.
And the tree was happy.”
― Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree

What tree In Spires you?

authors: Rhonda, Michael

Everything begins with a single thought

I continue to be amazed by "Everything begins with a single thought" which Yanni (yes, that guy) implanted in my brain sponge many moons ago. Machu Picchu began as a single thought.  Thomas Watson thunk a thought, and IBM grew one bit (pun intended) at a time and now is a major force underlying our digital lives.

Creation isn't just god(dess)'s handiwork. We create every moment. Creations are transformations of one energy to another. As a dualistic universe, we see the tensions between yin and yang creating systems from the simple to the complex. Modern computers giving you these very words you see are underpinned by the ancient Chinese philosophy expounded in the I Ching. In 1679, the German mathematician Gottfried Leibniz came across the I Ching. Studying the Chinese hexagrams, which consist of two type of lines, solid and broken, he came to realize that the hexagrams could be transformed into a numbering system, and so birthed binary - the 1's and 0's that run every computer system on the planet.

You look out the window - its raining. What a horrible day it is, you think. The world isn't horrible, but you just created a horrible world for yourself. I hate winter. Nothing wrong with winter, but you just made it ugly. Your choice. I don't have time. Of course you don't, 'cause you just created no time. I can't do that - of course you can't - argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they are yours. No is just an uneducated Yes. So say Yes. Just say YES. Yes.